My title might sound cliche but I am seriously reminded of the importance of remembering my strands have their own unique blend time and time again. I am still learning how to balance incorporating good advice into my hair care regimen with realizing that not everything that works for a successful hair guru is going to work for me. I used to be obsessed with watching hair videos from women with great results and trying out their tips. This was regardless of the fact that these women had a wide range of hair types, which were often times not even remotely similar to my own. My experiments almost always failed and I am currently in another one which I doubt is working out.
When I just started out, I was trimming my hair after each relaxer (about every 2 months) but decided to try and keep trims to a minimum of twice or three times for the year to preserve length. My ends have not been stringy and look pretty healthy so I figured this must be working out. When I compare my current relaxer days to previous relaxer days, however, I do not think my ends are as thick as they were. I also do not think it is “growing” (obviously breaking a bit more) as quickly as it was when I just started my journey. I used to notice very obvious growth spurts between each relaxer that got me really excited but now it seems to have slowed down. I cannot say if this is a result of less trims (especially since my ends still look good) or maybe because I have not been taking my hair vitamins as regularly (started to doubt their helpfulness after reading so much on how they make no difference). The only thing I know is that with frequent trims each year for 2012 and my hair pills, I observed much faster growth. I may start trimming maybe every 3 months from now on and being a lot more consistent with my hair pills just to see if that increases my length preservation.
Another series of experiments which went horribly wrong was trying out several products because numerous women were going bonanzas over it. I know this just sounds like common sense that what works for me won’t necessarily work for you but being new to the hair care journey is exciting. I couldn’t help myself until I learned the hard way after a few experiences of not being able to even run my fingers through my hair because some “great” product made it so course. From $50 conditioners to $5 dollar miracles in bottle, I have tried out far too many lines in the CVS hair care isle even and a few higher end goodies from Marshalls. I just thought I had to try something because everyone was saying is awesome, even when something else actually worked well for me. Now I stick to my usual shampoo and conditioner because it makes my hair feel like silk (Keracare and Organix). I do not see a lot of reviews on them amongst the black community hair care forums but they work for me so I no longer care. I am still open to trying new products but only when I do not particularly like the way something makes my hair feel. For instance, my moisturizer is okay but then I tried a little of my sister’s and it made me go wow so I will probably buy that next time.
One of the worst experiments I tried, early in my journey was stretching relaxers. I have now realized that stretching is all about finding the products that make your new growth extremely soft and manageable and just learning how to deal with the two textures. When I just started to gain some real length, going beyond two months or so would result in a lot of unnecessary breakage and time wasted trying to untangle my roots because I was using neither the right tools nor methods. This probably cost me more hair loss than getting a relaxer every eight weeks because I did not really understand what I was doing and I am not patient (personality is important too, I am not going 2 spend hours detangling my hair each week…it just won’t happen lol). I started increasing the frequency of my relaxers and then progressively added extra weeks so that I could learn how to manage new growth better over time. I currently go up to 3 months sometimes and I may go even longer some day but that is because my Organix conditioner , new methods and very long toothed comb makes detangling a breeze. Delaying relaxers is obviously sound advice and has been a successful method for many bloggers but always remember that if something is not working out for you, try something new!
There are several other experiments that went wrong but I think I have made my point. It is also important to take advice and try new things when what you have been doing is not working. Early in my journey, when everything was going great, my products very suddenly stopped working and my hair became a constant dry, shedding mess. I was utterly confused, so I spoke to Ms. Kibibi. She told me to try a clarifying shampoo because I might just have too much build up. After the first wash with a CS my hair was instantly transformed to feeling like hair again and not a haystack growing from my scalp. My conditioner began to work again. Now I clarify every other week or so because I use a lot of product and my hair begins to get build up quickly (clearly need to change some products but for now, taking it one step at a time).
Find the right balance between following hair care advice and knowing what has been working for you. I still have a far way to go but I have not yet had a major setback even with my all mistakes so I think I am constantly getting closer to finding the perfect recipe for my unique hair.