My last relaxer was October 17, 2012 and I can’t believe it’s been 21 weeks already. This is the longest I’ve ever stretched my relaxer. My previous record was 16 weeks. After my last relaxer, I decided that I would stretch as long as possible until I either unofficially transitioned to natural hair or I decided to relax my hair again. For me, transitioning to natural hair was about having a new hair goal to work towards. Lately the only thrills I get from my hair is cutting it (I just cut 2″-3″ three weeks ago). So natural hair was the new frontier in my otherwise mundane hair routine.
Alas, life has been distracting lately and to be honest my hair has not been a priority. I plan to visit my stylist Reniece in April and I’m considering going back to bone straight hair. Texlaxed hair has its benefits but frankly the extra time and patience needed to properly manage it is not working for my current lifestyle. Reniece and I discussed my options and I’ll be sharing updates on what we decide is best.
One thing I miss about bone straight hair is being able to rollerset and get smooth styling without flat ironing. Texlaxed hair is definitely thicker but the amount of heat needed to straighten it on a weekly basis almost defeats the purpose of reducing the relaxer time. At least when my hair was bone straight, I didn’t need to use direct heat weekly. A rollerset would give me the same results as blow dried and flat ironed hair. At this point in my life, I’m gravitating more towards straighter styles (mostly to showcase the length while promoting my book, The 5 Hair Archetypes).
Our hair journey is just that, a journey. We have weeks, months, or years when we prefer certain styles over others. That’s okay. That’s a part of life. We are always growing and changing, just like our hair. I’ve been fully texlaxed for a few years now but at this point in my life, I simply can’t commit to the regimen that natural hair requires. Does that mean I will never go natural? Of course not. I’m open minded to it in the future. The beauty about hair and life is that we get to decide what makes us happy and what works for us. We don’t have to defend our personal choices to anyone.
I don’t feel any guilt about deciding to stop my unofficial transition. It’s my hair and I get to decide what works for me. The natural hair trend is very popular right now and I think its wonderful that women are educating themselves about healthy hair care. But just like the jheri curl wasn’t for everyone in the 80s/90s, natural hair isn’t for everyone now.
Most of you know that my sister and fellow blogger MsNastassja has been natural (chemical- and heat-free) for 10 years. Our mom recently went natural and well our dad has been natural all his life (smile). I love and embrace the beauty of healthy hair, both natural and relaxed. I have never pressured my sister to relax her hair and she has never pressured me to go natural. We respect each others decisions when it comes to our hairstyle choices.
Our hair is just one way that we get to express ourselves and our hairstyle can mean as much or as little as we want. For some, their hair is their identity. For others, its merely an accessory. For me? Well, its both and neither at the same time. And that’s okay.
Do you feel pressured to go natural? Were you transitioning but decided to relax again?